The Blog of Harry "Ninopheen" Lyn

Who am I? (pt 1)

2011-03-20T15:32:00.000-07:00

If this looks weird on your screen its because I wrote and posted it on my phone.

Ah the blog. I haven't posted in months. Instead of dabbling into what I've been doing
I'm going to start writing about current affairs.

Who am I?

I watched youtube vids by a self-proclaimed philospher name 'obviously Jesus' about
Ranging from 'free will' to 'love' etc. After I thought to myself, wow. I don't who I am.
It's been a couple of weeks since I've watched those videos and have started to piece
together who I really am.

I am naturally attracted to brunettes. Brunettes with blue eyes are a bonus, but brunettes
is a definate. I do stupid things when I really like someone. This is something that can
Change; but as for being attracted to brunettes; that can't and will never change. It is
Just part of who I am.

I've got a lot of aspiration to strive to become better and I am always finding ways to be
Happy. Happyness is embedded into my head to strive for.

Graphic Design. I love design. I still get excited about it and get an adrenaline rush doing
Anything involved with it.

I am emotional. This will never change. I love getting up early but I also love going bed late.

I'm very open to new things.

Something out of nothing?

2010-12-16T15:20:00.000-08:00

*TBE*

The Hustler

2010-12-07T04:30:00.000-08:00

My mother.

I've been reading a book called "The Blue Nowhere" by Jeffery Deaver for the past month. The book sometimes highlights social engineering, deception and lies. I'll probably make a post about this book eventually. When thinking about social engineering in reality one thing springs to mine, my mother. She can definitely convince someone she is someone when she is not. I'd give a recent example of this, but that would be exposure.

One thing that has shocked me this week (and its only Tuesday) is that my mum told me she spent around £980 on my brother and sister's trip to London. The shocking part is not the fact she spent £980. The thing that shocked me is that she obtained £980. How?

The logical answer would be she worked and saved up, right? The problem with that answer is that her job isn't consistent. There are no set hours. She could work all week, work 2-3 days or not even work at all. How the hell did she make £980 AND pay the bills AND have fun going out?? She even had time to go on a holiday. She told me it took roughly from March to September to save £980.

But how!? I am so eager to know as I have to save up £1,000 for more important things, like debts. My observations so far are that she took on another form, or forms, of income. I know exactly what those forms of income are, but I'm suprised it can make you £980 fairly quickly (quick with no set hours job). It could have been quicker had she didn't go out much and not go on holiday.

She didn't do anything major, like drug dealing or sell her body, but she didn't play within the rules.

What she did is something I sadly can't emulate right now, but what I can do is emulate the fundamentals; Having a job plus another form of income, whether that's another job or something on the side.

Observing the game

2010-12-04T10:57:00.000-08:00

Only 3 posts in 2010. Not good. I'll round up what happened and my thoughts about it in a later post.

I finished my internship in October and have been on the hunt for a job. Job hunting is pretty depressing. Especially when the only direction your bank account can go with no job is down. I've been playing a lot of video games to "escape reality". It's like all my problems are pushed aside and everything is fine when I play video games, the depression soon wears off. This however causes me to not try as hard as I can to find a job.

When you're unemployed there isn't much to do, you don't have to get up early, you don't have to do anything. You don't even have to take a shower everyday because you're doing nothing to make yourself sweat. You're just watching life play out before you. You're observing the game.

I've been observing the game for 2 months now. There has been good times but there has been a lot of bad times, mainly depression...but now it's time to do something productive. Stop observing and start playing. I talk about life being a game because I love video games and, well, life is a game. Life is the only game in which you decide whether you've won or lost. You can also look at other players (other people in life) and decide whether they're winning, won, lost or losing and whether they care about your opinion is their decision. During these 2 months I haven't done anything productive. I think I am losing...badly. So how do I start winning?

I've decided to set myself tasks or objectives every day. Some challenging, some rewarding and some just a downright chore. Then I've got weekly tasks. Tasks that last the whole week which could relate to the daily tasks. Eventually once I get into the swing of things I could even develop monthly tasks, relating to weekly and daily tasks. I've started to live life like a game.

I could get a job this week or next year, but while hunting for a job I better make use of the free time I've got.

Game on.

Sustainable Happiness, does it exist?

2010-08-20T08:34:00.001-07:00

When I got the phone call that I was successful in applying for my internship at Currency Solutions for that 2 minutes I was the happiest person in the world.

4 months into the internship I went from happiest person in the world to worrying whether this internship was too long as I started to not learn anything.

I was right. It was too long. I noticed my happy level in this case went from 3 to 10 to 3 again.

is happiness just a temporary state on emotion?

It's hard to be happy, but very easy to be unhappy. The theory whether happiness is temporary can be used in everything. You can buy a new phone and be happy with it for the first few months but eventually more phones come out that are better, phones that you like and phones that everybody uses. That initial happiness that your phone gave you starts to lower; but why should it? You bought that phone because you liked it and it made you a bit, if not a lot, happier.

I currently have a BlackBerry Bold 9000. At the time I bought it; It was old. The BlackBerry Bold 9700 just came out, but I couldn't afford it and I don't like contracts. It made me very happy. Although it is old I can still do modern day activities, like surf the internet and even read emails. Now, more phones have arrived that are better. Phones that I like.

The happiness that my phone gave me has decreased. After much thought I've figured out why:

- I've become used to it

- The volume button seems somewhat broken

- New phones got better cameras than mine

The most important point is 'I've become used to it'. Maybe this is what answers the question whether sustainable happiness exist. In-order to sustain happiness I need (or we as humans need) something that will change. For my phone example, adding a new batch of songs to my phone is enough for me to keep my phone forever. If the volume button on my phone eventually decides to stop working, I will try and get it repaired. If I can't, then my happy level decreases dramatically. Adding a new batch of songs is enough for me to sustain the happiness I have with my phone.

This example can work for anything. A marriage that doesn't change can turn dull and end up in divorce. From initial happiness of "the happiest day in your life" to "you are officially divorce."

It seems inevitable that happiness will deteriorate. That initial happiness will be the highest happiness you will ever have with something or someone. However, Happiness can only be sustained by change and maintenance.

If the services on my phone holds up and the volume button doesn't break; I will be happy with it for a very very long time.

1 year

2010-06-24T11:51:00.000-07:00

I am still alive.

From the previous post, it sounds like I committed suicide. Instead of writing a long post of what I said and why I didn't post on this blog I will give a simple reason why I haven't been posting and list highlights from the year.

The reason why I didn't post anything was that I didn't really have any self-discipline. Right now I can say I have some form of self-discipline but also busy.

This starts at the beginning of July 2009 and ends August 2010:

- Unemployed, tried looking for placements, internships and jobs.

- Got a job working for JD Wetherspoons. Needed it, I was in serious debt.

- Graduated, I was very unhappy but put on a fake smile for my parents sake.

- Got into a relationship. Happy.

- Broke up. Sad.

- Failed a driving test. Even more sad.

- Got a 6 month design internship. Very VERY happy.

- Got into a relationship. EVEN MORE happy.

- Got fired from JD Wetherspoons. Not bothered.

- Girlfriend goes on her seasonal job in Crete. Sad.

- Been living off £250 a month through-out the summer. This teaches me a lot.

- Starting to not learn anything on internship. Sad.

- Prepares new work to look for a job again.

This may be weird, but I'm happy the way this year turned out. It is my best year.

Life is depressing when there are no positives

2009-06-18T15:14:00.000-07:00

Inspirational words and people.

This is what usually gets me up when I'm down. I don't read story books or "proper" books as some would call it. I prefer reading books that will teach, motivate or inspire. One person I really like is Paul Arden. I always read his books when life gets hard or when I need to hear something uplifting.

But what is the point of all this?

Well due to the global economy crashing and burning. In the U.K, over 2.1 million people are on jobseekers allowance, millions unemployed and everyday people are getting laid-off by mega companies no one thought would ever crumble. Some say I am very unlucky to be graduating straight in the middle of this. Infact I wish I was in year 1 again right about now. Some say at least you'll experience how it feels to be in an economical downturn. Gee...thanks, I just wish I had some preparation before experiencing it. Maybe some finanicial stability before going into the void. I'm not used to paying bills or having a full-time job or even living life without some form of studying involved. If I knew this would have happened; I would taken a gap year in my degree course to generate some kind of safe net. Probably make my "if shit happens" bank account more stronger. Enough about I would. It is what I need to do.

My tutors and guest lecturers warned me about the state of the world. To be honest I was more focused on getting my work done than looking into the future. What I should have done was live now and live in the future. Now work is over its time to find some sort of job.

"Take whatever you can get" - This was my tutors advice on the 20th April, monday meeting. He wasn't kidding at all. I tried to play it smart and research into the design industry in Atlanta before looking for work in London. One of two studios have said its hard to find work as a graduate. My tutor said there isn't enough jobs for the amount of students graduating in the U.K. What he ment to say was that there wasn't enough jobs for the amount of students in the whole world.

There will be graduates out there that will give up before making the starting line.

As for me? well I don't know what give up is. My mum always drilled into my head to never give up and she does set a perfect example. Plus I got all those inspirational books to keep me focused on what I want in life.

Damn I love this blog...

June means life has begun.

2009-06-16T18:48:00.000-07:00

June means degree work is done.

June means summer begins.

June means long days and short nights.

June means life has begun.

Back in America and this time no work to done other than make work look good and update my website and blog. Although I don't think I did well, I think my work is alright; good enough to get a job anyway. I like my work and pretty proud of it.

While coming to America and I had to sit and wait in the immigration office for 4 hours (yay) because apparently I didn't have an entry form into the country. While sitting there I saw 1 guy get sent straight back to Paris for lying to an immigration officer and another guy sent back to Barcelona for not having a good reason why hes in the country. Plus he only had $40 with him. Epic fail of the day.

Happily, I didn't get sent straight back to London and I'm here. It is hot and I got work to do. Less important work than last time but important enough to try and get a job.

So, degree course is over and I start life being broke looking for a job in a time jobs are very low. Fantastic. I start life in difficult mode and (hopefully) it gets easier. So whats the plan for June?

The plan is the sort out my portfolio and website then start contacting people left, right and center. Sounds pretty obvious but I guess it has to be done. I've been looking at design studios/agencies in Atlanta, just for the hell of it. There aren't many good studios here. Infact I've found one and its operated by 1 guy. I don't suppose that 1 guy needs a partner in crime with no experience...

So research, improve, communicate and hoping for the best. What a start to life.

Quote of a random week. pt1

2009-05-23T18:01:00.000-07:00

"Pain is temporary, Glory is forever."

- A Line in the film "Pearl Harbor".

Flawless Week

2009-05-17T13:02:00.000-07:00

What a week. I've finished 2 projects in 1 week. From last Monday I knew I had to get 2 projects done by next week and I did it by using my tutor tutorials very well. I had all the thinking process for both projects done and only the design part to do. It's Sunday now and its done.

2 of 3 portfolio projects ready to be sent to examiners.
Self-promo done.

I spent £15 for paper and £8.50 for envelopes on Saturday. That pretty much crushes my "make a cheap promo piece" principle into bits.

I should be only worrying about 1 portfolio project now and its the biggest one out of the three; but worrying about one thing is better than worrying about four, right?

Getting rid of Facebook is the best decision I have made this year.

Without getting rid of it, I don't think I would have done this much work in 1 week.

Guarujá House / Bernardes Jacobsen

2009-05-14T15:36:00.001-07:00

Seen on Arch Daily

The house is not my cup of tea, too celebrity-like. However;

CHECK OUT THE FREAKIN' SPACE!!

Talk about acres upon acres of forest.

and that would be infront of the house, the Ocean. Located in Brazil.
I wouldn't want to live in a house with that much trees and open land.
It was pretty shocking seeing that view.

Crazy 10 days (WEBSITE UP!)

2009-05-10T13:37:00.000-07:00

It has been a crazy first 10 days of May.

First of all. I failed the goals I was suppose to achieve by the end of April; however there is a reason for this.

My laptop died. It was finished. The fan inside the laptop was torn apart and it could not start. This led me to do absolutely no work for 4 days and 2 days just to get back on focus. As a result I had virtually nothing to show for my self-promo tutorial at uni. I'm currently behind in both portfolio projects and it is literally 1 month away from deadline. Bad times.

My website is up. www.harrylyn.com It has taken me just over a month to design it and get it online. There were pretty hard times making it. I've nearly given up on it dozens of times; but its up. Now to figure out how to get the email address working. Good times.

Job hunting is something I haven't started yet. I will start before the 20th May.

What I have learnt from these 10 days? Don't give up. NEVER give up.

By the time I make another post I should be deep into my self-promo work and 1 of my portfolio projects. (not too long from now.)

Final term of Education

2009-04-16T15:06:00.000-07:00

In my "end of spring term" post I had some goals I wanted to complete before I start my final term. Failed them all! why? I don't know, maybe it was too ambitious.
What I did do is complete 1 out of 3 projects, however, my website isn't up and no job searching done.

I thought I was having problems in life, wow. After hearing other problems in life my problems are minor.

The start of the final term is in 4 days. This will be my busiest term for sure; So I got goals as usual.

Before the end of April:

- Job hunt underway.
- 2 out of 3 projects done or near completed.
- Website up.

Ambitious? No. For 14 days left in the month it is possible.

Quick Resolutions 2009 Review

2009-04-02T18:06:00.000-07:00

Four months done. Eight to go.

- Maintain Organisation Success for now
- Get a driver's license Failed
- Finish university with a good grade On-going
- Find a job Failed
- Be more social Success for now
- Manage money better Success for now
- Focus on career plans Failed (Need to contact companies)
- Get a secondary hobby Success (DJing at the moment)
- Learn to cook (at least 4 dinner, 4 breakfast meals) (1 dinner, 0 Breakfast)

Can I actually leave London?

2009-04-02T17:54:00.000-07:00

My trip to Georgia was productive. I got all the things I wanted to do completed.
I got to see all my extended family which was great. Always nice to them. My dad said something that was critical to me. He said "You'll never leave London. You're in that state of mind in which anywhere else would feel different and you'll miss London."

He is right.

I wanted to go home by day 10 of my 11 day trip. What do I miss though? Well for one I miss the TV. America has too many commercial breaks. I'd rather pay the TV license than have that many commercials. I would miss Ribena and Wheatabix. I would miss the diversity. So much cultures in London that just being in a place which pretty much has white, black and latin people would be weird. If I was ever going to live in America it would have to be in New York. I'm city guy, what can I say.

End of the spring term

2009-03-22T16:05:00.000-07:00

2 terms down, 1 to go.

Planes, I hate them. I always shit myself when taking off, when turbulence occurs or landing. I am now in America (Atlanta, Georgia) for 11 days. I hope to get some work done while I am here. I got my 3 portfolio projects, logos design, job hunting and website design to do. It is important to get some rest while I am here. Its the perfect opportunity. The spring term is done and I have only got 1 term to go in uni. Feeling the pressure? no, but I am feeling the fianancial pressure. The economic crisis is now getting to me!

Before I leave America:

- Website design done
- Logo design worked on
- Work for all 3 portflio projects.
- REST!

Before the next term:

- All 3 portfolio projects done or close to done.
- Website up.
- Logos done.
- Job hunt and hopefully get one.

Lefevre House / Longhi Architects

2009-03-11T20:35:00.000-07:00

Seen on Arch Daily

There are buildings that stop me in my tracks. Buildings that I see online or on TV (mostly Grand Designs on more4) that just leave me thinking 'Oh my God this is amazing'. Specific buildings I love are houses. Give me a book containing loads of beautiful houses and I would be entertained for hours.

This specific beach house is located at Punta Misteru, Peru. The view is just a fairy tale. It's a real house and scene, but it looks like a dream. Imagine waking up to a clear sky day, the warm gentle wind hitting your face and the sound of waves hitting the rocks below. Magical.

I just hope rock erosion doesn't take its toll! not sure how hard the pacific waves hit them.

Click for more info.

Technology in 2019??

2009-03-10T15:13:00.000-07:00

I've just stumbled across Microsoft's Future Vision Series on youtube.

This would be amazing if it actually happened. Heck in 2019 I would be...32! but at 32 would I afford some of the stuff in this video? who knows. I'd probably have kids to feed and bills to pay or probably worrying about global warming and recycling. These concepts do look realistic; Realistic as in 'It can be done'. In 1999, I didn't have a mp3 player. In fact I was still using a Sony CD Walkman. I wouldn't imagine in 2009 I would be owning a 120GB media player that can play 720p HD videos, but here I am with a media player.

Technology gets better every 6 months. Imagine in 10 years time...

Nimbus Reading Lamp

2009-02-18T01:42:00.000-08:00

Designer: Donell Hutson

Day at The Design Museum

2009-02-16T15:59:00.000-08:00

I went to the design museum on Sunday as part of research for my project. I left the museum with confidence in myself and 2 new books. 'Whatever you think, think the opposite' by Paul Arden and 'Life's a pitch, how to sellf yourself and brilliant ideas' by Stephen Bayley & Roger Mavity. I would recommend everyone to read these books, they are amazing.

The design museum itself was very inspiring. It was worth running around London for 2 hours trying to find it. The most interesting things at the museum were the fashion exhibition and the Obama campaign logo. I'm currently working on a campaign brief and the design process of the Obama logo was insightful. It was just rough sketch ideas but it really showed how it got to what it is now. The fashion exhibition was inspiring. The designs were different and I got the impression that Hussein Chalayan (the designer) isn't afraid of his own ideas. He has alot of self-confidence and believe and thats why his designs are different; kinda like the brand new Microsoft advert about Microsoft being different. So, I guess in-order to make a great idea become reality, self-confidence and risk is something I need.

Molding into a professional

2009-02-16T10:48:00.000-08:00

So I have finished around 4 projects on the deadlines I have set to finish them. Being organised is brilliant. Knowing what to do and when to do them just gets things done smoothly. After years of hating my work I can now say I am proud of my work. What I need to do now is do more self-initiated projects and work faster. At the moment I work too slow and the pace needs to be faster!

The Coldest Winter

2009-02-02T12:25:00.000-08:00

Well January was good. Thanks to rainlendar (a desktop calendar application) I am more organised than ever before! I've done so much work and not struggling to meet any deadline.
I'm improving old projects as well as working on new projects. Doing the final finishes of my ISTD submission. Once that is completed and handed in I'll have to work on my YCN and D&AD submission while continuing old projects finding out placements for March. VERY BUSY YEAR.
11th February is my deadline for ISTD. I should be done with some old projects by that date too.

The image above is London covered in snow on the 2nd February. My college is closed for two days (or more) because of it.

MUST Buy: L'incognito

2009-01-27T10:44:00.000-08:00

These aren't new, but I have always dreamed of owning these.
They're just insane. L'incognito 'sci-fi' glasses by Maison Martin Margiela.
I first saw them in the Everyone Nose Remix music video, Pharrel had them on.

For future reference: MUST Buy: posts are things that I 100% love, it doesn't matter how much it costs, they're must buys or things to dream of having.

Do I really want to be an Interaction Designer?

2009-01-24T03:32:00.000-08:00

As I sit here writing this on my awesome Archos 5 player; I started to wonder, do I really want to be an interaction designer? I know the kind of work I want to do in the future but would I enjoy the process of doing it? In order to find this out I need to speak to an interaction designer or atleast get some kind of background of what interaction designers do, or even a career advisor. I have researched into interaction design, the field, the skills required, what it actually is etc etc; however, I am still not 100% sure I want to pursue it as a career. I am currently 70-75% at most.

As for other options, I don't want to work in advertising, I'd hate it. Branding is alright but its not something I would want to do over and over and over. I enjoy creating logos and icons though. I'm not too fond of print design. I like creating posters however. Maybe working in a design studio/agency that doesn't focus on one thing regarding design would be an option? I like screen work and digital stuff. It relates to my non-design interests. I really enjoyed the Troika lecture at my college some months ago. They did stuff that I would enjoy, digital designs and installations. I may have to do more reseach into them. As for digital communication agencies/studios, I only know two, which are Imagination and AKQA. What if they don't give me a job? Am I screwed as an interaction designer? I need to research more into my plan A in life before I come up with plan B, C and D.

New Year's Resolution 2009

2008-12-31T12:32:00.000-08:00

- Maintain Organisation
- Get a driver's license
- Finish university with a good grade
- Find a job
- Be more social
- Manage money better
- Focus on career plans
- Get a secondary hobby
- Learn to cook (at least 4 dinner, 4 breakfast meals)

The important ones are in bold.

Some resolutions I failed this year (2008) are added. These resolutions are based on being more independent. 2009 is the year of independence for me. No more student loans = I need a job = I need to care for myself now. I don't plan on living with my mum for the rest of my life.

2008 in review

2008-12-31T12:18:00.000-08:00

This will be straight to the point.

January - March

The beginning of the year was awful, failing a uni project and breaking up with my girlfriend at the time as well as my cousin's house being raided. I somehow managed to live through it and got myself a job placement at Creative Leap.

April - June

Created a poster for my brother's birthday party. Uni was still going bad but I managed to pass the 2nd year. Met someone called Leon and we went to various clubs and bars. This was a good period in the year for socializing.

July - September

Went to America to visit my family. The weather over there was HOT!!!!! I thought I would die out there. This has made me moan less about the cold in London. Spent a lot of time with my grand mother and it was weird not seeing my grand father there. I started to take interest in my immigration papers my father has been doing for ages. I also met Lily and Daniel (nephew) again.

September - December

Back to uni. The 1st term was great. I got my dissertation out of the way and I am more organised. I also started driving lessons and passed my theory test. Decided not to speak to Leon anymore. He has a crazy ex and he is what doctors what say, more retarded than a retard in a wheelchair wearing a helmet (I laughed).

Overall this year was better than last year. It is certain that 2009 will be better. I finish uni and I hope to get my driver's license. As for graphic design, I will be producing my best work in 2009.

New Years Resolution 2008 Results

2008-12-29T09:03:00.000-08:00

- Be more organised. Success!
- Don't lose focus. Success!
- Learn Spanish. Failed. Had no time.
- Enjoy life more. Success!
- Stay passionate. Success!
- Become a better Graphic Designer Success!
- Learn to drive? Success!
- Manage money better. Failed.
- Find a Job Failed.
- Be more social. Ups and Downs

This years resolutions were overall easy. Next year will be challenging because I finish university in July 2009. I had no time to study another language or find a job, however, I started driving and my career plans are becoming a reality. I was more social this year, some good times and some bad. Overall they were good experiences.

Type experiment pt1

2008-06-14T12:53:00.001-07:00

Here is just something I did for the hell of it. I think I need to work more on detail for my next experiment. I'm just trying to sharpen up on my software skills and drawing.

Blackout!

2008-06-13T16:33:00.000-07:00

So this week (I can't remember the day), I had a blackout. It was the whole of my area and other areas that were affected by the blackout. It started 9am and ended 9pm. During the blackout I visited the park, had a 5 minute jog (had a stitch, I suck at fitness right now) and spent time with my mum. The blackout gave me time to reflect however, reflect on my life at this precise moment. There is still a chance to fail my 2nd year of uni although I have finished it, my driving lessons are going well, I am getting poorer and poorer each day and I can't do anything about it until I come back from my trip to America.

At the moment life is good. It could come crashing down if I fail my 2nd year of uni and I still got that uni project I failed to do, but at the moment, at this precise time, its good. The social side to my life can be better, but every time I go out I spend money. Why is London like that? Why couldn't there be something fun to do without spending money? well there is one, a kick about at the park, but that gets boring after a time and no one really wants to go park these days except me. My "friend" Leon pissed me off this week too, but I won't go into that.

This is a fairly important summer for me. Now that uni is out of the way there are so much things I want to do in-terms of graphic design. I want to draw and design more independently. According to Nima, in year 3 I will be doing more self-initiated projects. So I want to become considerably better by the time I get there (if I do get there). I've started drawing more that is a start. I want to read more and understand more. Of course this summer there is my dissertation to work on aswell as figuring out a way to stop driving from eating out my bank account and organise myself.

In-terms of self-initiated projects, I am finding it hard to actually think of things to create. At the moment, I want to do a poster design for my room with my manifesto (I will write a post about my manifesto soon). I also would like to do type experiments and identify the things I really like in graphic design.
In the book "How to be a Graphic Designer without losing your soul" by Adrian Shaughnessy, Adrian says "a brief identifies a problem and a graphic designer solves that problem", something along those lines, I haven't got the book yet but I have ordered it from Ebay. So, I need to create a brief, but in-order to create a brief I need to find a problem.

Does it really have to be a problem though?
Could it not be something that I reckon is a problem?

At the moment, I reckon closing down schools in England because they are struggling to keep up with standards is pathetic. I think this is a problem.

However, this is a good problem to create something for?
What makes a good problem anyway?

As you can see, I have been thinking a lot during the 12 hours I had no electricity or hot water.

New Years Resolution 2008 Part 3

2008-06-12T18:20:00.000-07:00

If you notice the pattern, I make a resolution post every 2 months.

- Be more organised. (failing)
- Don't lose focus. (succeeding)
- Learn Spanish. (failing, should be starting again though.)
- Enjoy life more. (Success)
- Stay passionate. (Success)
- Become a better Graphic Designer (Success)
- Learn to drive? (Success)
- Manage money better. (Failing, driving lessons putting me in debt!)
- Find a Job (STILL working on CV.)
- Be more social. (Success)

Now that university is out of the way, got a lot to do this summer.

Interesting start to "Summer"

2008-06-07T17:16:00.000-07:00

Technically summer hasn't started yet. Apparently it starts around 10-20th June. I need to use my blog more. If you've noticed, I used to write at least 4 posts in a month but its been falling and last month I only wrote one!

So...more posts.

I haven't found a decent gym yet. I am starting to think I don't need one. I don't need a gym, I got stuff in my house that could do the job. I've completed my second year of uni; whether I have passed or not is a mystery. At the moment I know I have to do 1 project again, and my PPD and dissertation work pretty much sucked but hopefully I pass.

What else has happened?

Detroit Red Wings won the Stanley Cup! sadly my team (Ottawa Senators) got knocked out the 1st round of play-offs...

My dad has bought a buddy pass for me to get onto any Delta flight I want to anywhere at any time. I should be using it to go to Atlanta this summer. What I haven't decided is what time should I go there. Either late June or September.
I need to go there at some point. Tanya is still breaking stuff and Andrew got his head up his own ass. I need to give him a reality check.

Psychos threatening to kill me! so apparently I have been bullying someone at university by the name of Aniya, who is also my friend Leon's girlfriend, what a coincidence. I got a phone call tonight from someone threatening me, they also said I should be a man and stop bullying her. I told the idiot I wasn't bullying anyone, but you can't really talk to an idiotic psycho. I would have a better chance talking to myself. Funny how I am getting voicemails from someone who won't tell me who he is or his phone number and yet telling me to be a man.

So yeah, interesting start to the "summer". I could be dead before the summer actually begins. If I don't die I got alot of stuff to do, for example, dissertation, projects, people to meet, jobs to search for etc etc.

Self-Discipline

2008-05-21T16:55:00.000-07:00

I have no self-discipline, period.

I could be doing absolute bullshit all day knowing that I got work to be doing, and not do it.

This must change.

While reading my new years resolutions again I have realised going to the gym wasn't one of them. So now I am adding that onto my list. I reckon going to a gym will give me a sense of determination, motivation and self-discipline. It will also improve my fitness of course. I am now learning to drive which is good, gaining confidence in driving too. I think I need about 6 lessons until I am fully confident about taking my theory test and practical test. I'm pretty confident on the road, still stalling once or twice, however, they are silly mistakes and I know why I am doing it. I now understand and I have put the fundamentals into practice. It is just getting those fundamentals to perform naturally that is the problem. I also have to learn reversing, parking and three point turns, but lets face it, the basic things to learn are going, starting and stopping. My driving instructor, Ian, said to me he has 25 years experience in instructing and it really shows. That guy is bloody good at his job.

So, Self-discipline, how can I gain some?

Well first I must admit:

1) I'm lazy.
2) I'm too patient

Most people say patience is a good thing. I think patience is a terrible thing. I don't do work before I know I got time. Then I rush it at the end. Organisation is another factor. I haven't used my calendar last month and this month. This must change. There are loads of things I want to do this year and in life, but I am not doing them because of self-discipline!

I reckon I need to get busy,
I need to do more activities,
That way, the self-discipline comes naturally.

At the moment I am currently at uni and I am learning to drive. I need to do more.
Maybe I need a job? I can't get a job right now though because I am going to America in June. So I guess I can work on my CV.

So, uni, gym, learning to drive, working.

It is easy to say it, however I need to do it. At the moment I am doing 2 of those activities. I could add more, like Spanish, but that is too much for my brain studying 3 things at once. I will resume Spanish after I know how to drive.

I am currently searching for a gym, something cheap, I am a student after all.

Quick resolutions 2008 Review part 2

2008-04-30T06:45:00.000-07:00

- Be more organised. (failing)
- Don't lose focus. (Nearly there)
- Learn Spanish. (failing, too much stuff to sort out)
- Enjoy life more. (Success)
- Stay passionate. (Success, Still passionate about design)
- Become a better Graphic Designer (Success)
- Learn to drive? (Nearly there.)
- Manage money better. (Failing, driving lessons will probably put me in debt!)
- Find a Job (Working on CV)
- Be more social. (Success, but spending too much money.)

Funny that, succeeding in 1 resolution makes another resolution fail.

April Summary

2008-04-29T17:08:00.000-07:00

I've been so busy this month that I haven't written a post for this month. I usually write 3 or 4 each month.

7th-18th April:
I was doing a 2 week placement at Creative Leap. Creative Leap is based near the Barbican and took me 55 mins to get there. I learnt a lot from the placement. One of the major things I learnt was living in London is too expensive. I reckon I would have to live just outside of London when I am older.

College:
I got my wayfinding project to get a hold on.

free time:
I've been going to pool this month and socialising with Matt and Leon. I've also been watching champions league games at the capitol, Forest Hill. Playing computer games is getting less and less. Thanks to GTA coming out, I might quit playing Battlefield 2142 all together!

Ambitions:
My new years resolutions are on track. I am now learning to drive once I pick an instructor. At the moment my choice is definitely Ian. He has 25 years experience! that is ridiculously good. Before I pick him I will talk to Peter, who is very hard to get hold of. Spanish is still on hold, I may need to stop that until September. Hopefully ill know how to drive by then. I started jogging again, I need to find a gym to go to and I need a job!

busy busy busy, my next post will be a resolutions catch-up.

Andrew's Birthday Party Poster

2008-03-26T08:49:00.000-07:00

My brother wanted a poster to advertise his birthday party in his town.

This was the outcome.

I need to stop using white, light blue and faded black. They are my favourite colours and I can't help using them!

Blogs rock + Random Rants pt 1

2008-03-22T20:42:00.000-07:00

Blogs rock. Period.

Its a space where we could say anything we want...well...technically not everything.

If I said "I killed insert_name_here" then someone would read it and send my ass to jail.
or if I said "I smoke crack" then someone would tell my mum and she would destroy me. (yes, destroy.)

But most my blog entries are written around 2 to 6am because I have some things on my mind and I can't sleep because of it, therefore, I write in this blog and happily sleep because I got them out.

Genius.

Random Rants Part 1

I haven't really ranted on my blog yet, and if you've read most of my posts and saying to yourself "oh stop lying Harry", those "rants" don't even hit the surface to most the ranting I do day in and day out.

Everyone calls me grumpy or an old man or even very opinionated.
So I decided to share my rants.

I'll dedicate the 1st random rants post to network sites. Myspace, Facebook, Bebo, Faceparty the list continues. Honestly, I am registered to Myspace, Facebook, Faceparty and LinkedIn but I don't use LinkedIn. To get straight to the point of what I think these sites are, ill list them:

Myspace - The best, used for networking with pretty much anyone.
Facebook - Great to find people in the past and communicating with "friends".
Faceparty - Great for meeting easy girls, webcam girls and just plain retards.
LinkedIn - Over corporate networking, finding jobs, hard to manage through so I don't know much about it.

I use Myspace to try and meet other graphic designers and other fields of art. So far my track record isn't great because after looking at so many peoples profile they got their work on it, and I don't, so I would like to sort my profile out first. I have "spoke" to a photographer who go by the name of Bubbles. Bubbles is a stupid name (sorry if you're reading this). It reminds me of the powerpuff girls, but I have her on my "friends" list.

I use facebook to send messages to friends I know in real-life. I also registered for past people to find me, see if I am still alive. A prime example of this is Katrina, my 1st ever crush from primary school, finding me. It was great speaking to her again.

I don't use Faceparty but I check it ever so often.

So, now you know why I use these bullshit sites and the advantages of them. Lets get to my rant about them (oh I can go all day).

The rant itself.

While reading this you may of noticed I used the word "friends" in quotes. If you've read my post about friends and networking you would know why. On my "friends list" at these sites I try to filter out all the people who aren't my friends. I could count the amount of friends I got on one hand. So I'm damn sure its from 1 to 5. "friends list" is a loose phrase all together. It should be called "People you actually know or want to know" list, because, on my "friends list", I got people who are family, friends and people I had a chat with and like to know better.

If you're reading this and you've got 100+ "friends" on your "friends list" you're either:

a) Famous in some shape or form. (better be a decent reason to be famous too.)
b) Full of shit.
c) Addicted. Period.
d) REALLY full of great smelling bullshit
e) Attention whores.
f) Full of yourself.
g) All of the above.

The list goes on to Z.

Seriously, if you have 50 friends, real genuine friends, you are on top of the fucking world. Life must be so easy and perfect for you and I envy you so bad. You could call up any of those friends and they will help you out in any situation. You must have the ultimate personality to be loved by so many people.

I find it hard to believe that theres 1 person in this world. ONE PERSON! that has 50 friends.
I don't even talk to 50 people much less have 50 real friends.

If you have 50 real friends and reading this, I beg you, please email me at: Ninopheen@googlemail.com

If you email me, I'll say you are simply amazing and I stand corrected. It would be nice to know someone as great as you. Seriously, you must be some sort of God.

Moving on, you got those people with more photos of themselves than a fucking supermodel.
Ok, 1 photo does not show off your beauty, I agree. There are some photos of yourself some people like and some dislike, but the people who disliked that photo could like you in another.

But cmon, do you really need 15+ photos of yourself?
Are you really that pathetic to take that much pictures of yourself?

Ok so you got a picture of yourself when you were little, its not cute. Everyone was cute when they were little. No one cares how cute you were if they were cute themselves.
You've changed since last year/month? delete the old picture then. No one cares how you looked before, they want to know how you look now you fucking attention whore.

And then you have the people who randomly add you just to get their "friends list" bigger.
Now to be frankly honest, if you're an unsigned band/artist of some kind then there is no harm in trying to get your shit across to the millions....and millions of networks on these sites.
But, if you're a person that just wants to look popular with your "hi can you accept my friend request?" message then I have 2 replies for you to consider.

1) Why are you so pathetic?
2) Do something with your life, you look like a fucking retard trying to get popular.

I don't have anything against people looking for love on networking sites. When times are hard and you need that confidence booster the internet is just another option. But you have to remember most of the girls/boys do the things I just ranted about are possibly the worst people to ever come across, and yes, even the most prettiest of people, infact, quoting a Kanye West line.

"The prettiest people, do the ugliest things"

This rant is far from over, but you can think of the rest of stuff on networking sites that piss me off.

Heres a little list:

- Facebook Applications
- Pay to view adult content pictures
- Random graphics on myspace profiles to slow your computer down.
- Webcam girls
- Advertising bots
- Hackers
- Famous for jack shit

Probably the best lyrics I have ever heard

2008-03-14T07:31:00.000-07:00

-

Daft Punk - Digital Love

Last night, I had a dream about you
In this dream, I'm dancing right beside you
And it looked, like everyone was having fun
the kind of feeling, I've waited so long

Don't stop, come a little closer
As we jam, the rythm gets stronger
There's nothing wrong, with just a little little fun
We were dancing, all night long

The time is right, to put my arms around you
You're feeling right
You wrap your arms around too
But suddenly, I feel the shining sun
Before I knew it, this dream was all gone

Ooh, I don't know what to do
About this dream and you
I wish this dream comes true.

My short manifesto on girls.

2008-03-06T19:15:00.000-08:00

- Have fun.

- Don't be shy to approach someone. I wouldn't approach someone on the bus though! imagine getting rejected and then I have to sit there with them lol

- Be confident. I'm already confident but ill add it anyway.

- Don't be nervous and smile. The more experience, the less nerves.

- If you like someone DON'T THINK, JUST DO IT! I always over-think. Stop thinking, start doing.

- Do it for the wrong reasons aswell as right. I'm 20, I'm young. Go heartless but don't over do it.

- You don't need a couple of drinks before you chat to someone. Stop asking alcohol for help.

- Don't be afraid of stupidity. I can't seem smart all the time. Everyone slips up once or twice.

AND ARGUABLY THE MOST IMPORTANT

- Don't be afraid of embarassment. Not everyone can like me. I will be rejected some times. But be proud you had the balls to approach.

-

Quick resolutions 2008 review

2008-02-21T01:53:00.001-08:00

- Be more organised. (failing)
- Don't lose focus. (Too much bad news to stay focus on life)
- Learn Spanish. (failing, but I do know how to introduce myself)
- Enjoy life more. (failing, worst month ever.)
- Stay passionate. (Success, Still passionate about design)
- Become a better Graphic Designer (Success)
- Learn to drive? (not yet, need money.)
- Manage money better. (Failing, laptop nearly broke, building a pc.)
- Find a Job (Failing)
- Be more social. (Failing)

"That, that don't kill me, can only make me stronger" ~ Kanye West

2008-02-21T01:26:00.000-08:00

Well after 3 hours sleep (surprisingly I'm not tired) I feel a bit better from last night, or 3 hours ago even.

I've been playing Kanye West - Stronger (live at the grammys) over and over plus listened to The Fugees album this morning too.

I've been deleting pics of Danushi plus I've taken off the wristband she gave me, just trying to move on. Now I need to resist the urge to contact her, which should be easy I hope.

I think ill head to uni today, I really don't know yet.

Its kinda funny, being heartbroken,. The moment you do get your heartbroken it really hurts, infact its the most painful thing I've ever gone through; But after 3 hours sleep I'm alright now, its still lurking in my mind and it still hurts, yes, but its more like a "ah forget about it" thing.

last night it felt like my world came crashing down,
but after 3 hours sleep, I'm not really fussed about the whole situation.

I guess I take bad news differently from other heartbroken people.

She text me at 3am this morning saying she isn't seeing anyone, which I believe because of the sort of person she is, but just not interested in me, which made me feel a bit better I guess.

But anyway, now that my heart is empty, its time to find someone who actually wants to go out with me. I won't let anyone take my heart like that again though, unless I know she really loves me.

in terms of other stuff:

- Need to talk to my dad more.
- Hope Chris don't do anything stupid.
- Wish for the best for Marianna (and Andreas).
- Never fail again.

Worst month of my life.

2008-02-20T16:53:00.001-08:00

Words cannot describe how this month has been. But if I had to use words I would say this.

This month has been a fucking ridiculous nightmare.

First of all my laptop decides to break once more, not only the speaker isnt working, the screen is barely connected to the rest of the laptop. So I need to spend money building a pc before it dies completely.

My friend, Marianna, told me her father has cancer and it has spread to his lungs and liver and theres nothing the doctor can about it. This REALLY hurt me because Marianna's dad is roughly the same age as my dad and my dad has been smoking since he "technically" broke up with my mum.
I haven't spent alot of time with my dad, so speaking to Marianna about her dad I was very emotional, infact I find it hard to even write this.

My cousin Chris has been robbed. It was an organised robbing. The robbers didn't take anything except from the stuff in Chris' room. They took his Xbox 360, Playstation 3, his laptop, the list goes on. I just hope Chris doesn't do anything that would put his life at risk, after this month I really wouldn't cope losing a family member or seeing him in the emergency room.

All this bad news was happening to me I just knew the bad news would spread to me and it did.

On wednesday 20th February 2008, I failed my first ever uni project.
August 2003, when I opened my GCSE results and I saw that my GCSE results were terrible.
I didn't get ANY A-Cs I vowed to myself that I would NEVER, EVER fail again.
When Nima said
"You failed to put the communication in context on your work".
I had the same sick feeling that I had when I opened those GCSE results 5 years ago.

I wanted to cry, I really wanted to cry.

But I didn't cry, I coped with this and decided I would do better.

But later that night would be the time I cry.

Danushi and I were very close, I really loved that girl and I still do.
When she told me she wont speak to me again I cried.

Danushi affected my life BIG time, I understood what love was when I met her and I now understand how it felt to have your heartbroken.

It fucking hurts.
I'm with a bunch of tissues while typing this, thats how much it hurts.

I would rather take a bullet than experience this, I honestly would.
This kind of pain doesn't just hurts you mentally it hurts physically.

I feel like someone took my heart and put a knive through it then smashed me over the head with a baseball bat a million times and I am still alive to feel the pain.

At this moment,
This VERY moment,
I understand what love really is.
I understand that observing others actions is absolutely vital.
I understand why people commit suicide or do stupid things when the one they love leaves them.

I honestly would go to war than feel this pain.

Danushi kicked me when I was down.
She knew about my friends dad dying, she knew about chris' house robbed and the fact I failed at uni.

She knew I was down and I needed her, but she kicked me instead.

and the strange thing is I don't feel angry about her doing this to me.

That is what love does to you. Shes done the worst to me and I don't feel angry about it at all.
I still love her.

At the moment I can't take it this anymore. I cant take all of this bad news, and on-top of it I got loads of work to do for uni.

I thought posting in this blog, getting my feelings out, would make it easier for me to cope, but it just isn't.

I feel like shit.
and I know theres people in a worst situation.
Marianna is in a worst situation than me, her dad is dying for fucksake.

But I've never had so much things happen to me and around me.

and I just can't handle it.

I just want the world to pause for a week and give me time to try and get things of my mind, but uni just wont stop and its is so fucking important right now and my head is just not there.

I don't know if ill go to uni tommorow,
I cant stop thinking about what Danushi might be doing with that guy right now.
I can't stop thinking that Chris is going to do something fucking retarded and ill see him on the news during the week.
I can't stop thinking about Marianna's situation and how it can be a sign for things to come with my dad.

and its not these things too, its the little things in life that is pissing me off, like for example right now, my fucking tv cant pick up reception after it was just working perfectly 30 mins ago.

What The Fuck is going on.

Fuck this Im going to bed.

Friendship and Networking

2008-01-24T17:55:00.000-08:00

"Sometimes you gotta let the things you love go" ~ Anonymous

During my young lifetime I have let loads of friends go and created a few. My definition of a friend is not only someone you can depend on or someone you be yourself with or someone to pick you up when you're down.

A friend is more than that.

A friend is all 3 of the above plus:

- Someone you can learn from.
- Someone you can talk to.
- One that makes you happy just by their presence.
- Someone you can "hang" with.
- Someone that can help you.

A friend doesn't have to like the same things you like or be the same race or even live close.

There are many people that I could class as friends, but are they really my friends?

Do they really make me happy?

Can I depend on them?

I've taken the people I know that I could class as friends, then, with my definition of friendship above, ask myself are they really my friends?

The question is no, I can't think of 1 person that I could class as a friend.

What does that mean? I guess that means I have no friends.

wow, Nino (or Harry) doesn't have friends.

There is 1 person that I can class as a friend, someone that meets my definition of a friend and that is my cousin Chris, but does family really count?

Chris is someone I can learn from, someone I can talk to, pretty much everything I said at the start of this post. Chris and I have different tastes on most things and technically we don't speak the same language, however, we still get along.

but do we get along because we are family?
Would we get along if we wasn't family?
That is beyond the point of this post.

I do have people I talk to of course. I'm not the kind of person that has no friends and don't talk to anybody and lives like a loner. I would say I am the kind of person that talks to people, meet up with people, but wouldn't classify anyone as a friend.

For example;

I wouldn't call Matt, Amy, April, Andrew, Terri or Darren just to "chat"

I wouldn't ask Marianna, Danushi, Lisa or Mikhail for a roof over my head because I am in their area and far from home.

I don't talk to or meet any of these people on a regular basis.

So how does one make friends?

Friendship is something that just comes natural right? it was easy when we were young because we were forced into groups in nursery, primary school or secondary school. You were with that group of people for atleast 5 years, so friendship just came naturally. At this age and time, there is job placements, the internet, university and people you talk to.

To be honest, most of the people I have mentioned above I have met through school, "ex" friends and the internet. Like I said, I am not the kind of person who has no friends, doesn't talk to anyone and sits at home with absolutely no charisma.

There may even be people reading this and thinking "wow Harry is a loser",
but would you be a loser if the people that you thought were your real friends backstab, abandon or just don't talk to you anymore?

Its debatable, I guess.

The Road to Superbowl

2008-01-21T15:50:00.000-08:00

Ah the superbowl; not very famous in England, but its bloody huge in America.

The superbowl is like the Champions League Final in American Football.

Heres a crackdown to the superbowl:

- There is 2 conferences in NFL (National Football League).
- If you finish top 8 of your conference after the regular season, you enter the play-offs.
- The play-offs is a tournament based competition leading up to the superbowl.
- The semi-finals of the play-offs is the conference championship.
- If you win the conference championship, you are the champion of your conference and will be representing your conference in the superbowl.
- The superbowl is basically both champions of both conferences playing for the big one.

Now we got that out of the way. My prediction at the start of the season of who will reach the superbowl was New England Patriots vs Dallas Cowboys. By the end of the season they both finish first in their conferences; so I figured my prediction would go to plan. My favourite team is the San Diego Chargers, but the patriots were undefeated the whole season so I wasn't very confident they would win against them, plus the chargers grabbed a wild card.

By the time it was the conference championship, the Cowboys got eliminated by the giants! I was pissed considering I think the giants suck, but on the bright side the chargers got to the championships! I had faith that my team would beat the UNDEFEATED patriots, but they did not. In my opinion Tomlinson should have played and the chargers screwed up whenever they had a chance to get a touchdown.
The other semi-final, Giants vs Packers, I actually thought the Packers would win, I was so confident that I didn't even watch half the game. I woke up today, went onto NFL.COM, and I couldn't believe what I saw. The Giants beat the Packers in overtime, OVERTIME!

So its Giants vs Patriots in the Superbowl. I doubt the Giants will win, infact, I am very confident the Giants wont win considering the Patriots haven't lost all season and claim to be the best NFL team in history.

But we will see.

Marianna 87

2008-01-13T07:29:00.000-08:00

This is something I did for my friend, Marianna. I did it to experiment with photography, seeing what I can add to an image. The model is Marianna herself. The illustration is based on the things about her, for example, the butterfly and stars actually tattoos on her.

I like the outcome of it, maybe I could add more but that's just me going for perfection.

New Year's Resolutions 2008

2007-12-31T00:45:00.000-08:00

- Be more organised.
- Don't lose focus.
- Learn Spanish.
- Enjoy life more.
- Stay passionate.
- Become a better Graphic Designer
- Learn to drive?
- Manage money better.
- Find a Job
- Be more social.

There's my resolutions. The ones in bold are the more important ones to me.
I have a good feeling that this will be a very good year for me.

The Year 2007 in Review

2007-12-30T22:16:00.000-08:00

2007 for me has been a very inspiring and self-developing year (if self-developing is a word), especially the last 4 months. I decided to look back at every month and try to remember what I was doing and what I have learned.

January
After completing my 1st term at uni, I felt great because I totally kicked ass in terms of grades and work and I loved my course. New years eve was great too, I went to a pub/bar called New Cross Inn in New Cross with a couple of friends. I started my second term of uni and noticed it was easier than the 1st term. I got a mp4 player this month with my student loan which I love to death. I also bought every single season of Family Guy and re-decorated my room, which really needed decorating. A very beautiful girl named Danushi entered my life on 1st January too. She just randomly emailed me and we started talking. It was a good start to the year.

February
Met Danushi for the 1st time. Shes sooo sexy, but moving on I met other great people this month, for example, Lisa, Amy, Ellie, Andreas and a few more through Faceparty.com . I don't like websites like Faceparty.com but I guess there are some perks. I also realised Andreas' sister is Marianna! and shes beautiful!!! what a coincidence. I was kinda pissed off that my best friend at the time, Marko, was going out with a nice girl like Marianna and didn't treat her well, but ah well, people move on. I also went to Ireland this month! It was a uni trip with a bunch of us going and it was great. We only went to Dublin to be honest but I loved it, I doubt I would live in the city, if I wanted to live in a city I would pick London but the irish countryside must be so peaceful considering London has more people in it than the whole of Ireland.

March
Nothing much happened in March. Photography was going well though. I'm not camera shy anymore and I learnt a few basic things about photography.

April
Andrew's birthday this month. I didn't get him anything though. I don't think he cares to be honest. This month was pretty boring with nothing major happening; going places with Danushi was great though. 2nd term of the 1st year of uni completed. Marko is staying over my house for a month. His looking for a place to stay so his living with me at the moment.

May
3rd term of the 1st year of uni began, nothing exciting happened.

June
Mum's 40th birthday this month.....I think its 40th....holy crap I forgot how old my mum is, however she went to Hawaii for her birthday. I didn't buy her anything because I was broke but she doesn't mind, she knows all these birthdays I have missed will come around.

I visited my brother, sister and father in Atlanta, Georgia this month! I haven't seen any of them in over 3 years! everyone looks grown up but they all still act like kids, I reckon I have matured more than them. The house looked different. Dad got a bigger TV, Andrew is still messy, Tanya just wont talk talking and Grandma wont stop cooking. Not seeing my grandfather was kinda weird, he died earlier this year but I cant remember what month. I got to meet my half-brother, Gary, and my nephew Daniel, who I like to call my little sidekick because he is so cool. I stayed in America (Atlanta, Georgia) for 2 weeks.

July
Yay my birthday was this month. Danushi, who is now a very very good friend of mine, took me out to dinner and the cinema. She didn't buy me a birthday present but she didn't need to, I really enjoyed my birthday with her. The 1st year of uni is finished, I reckon I totally sailed through the year. It wasn't too hard at all. I did very good getting Bs and Cs. I did get a D in the wayfinding project though. I didn't fully understand the project and I should of used the time I had with my lecturers more wisely. This summer goal (like last summer) is to find a summer job.

August
No summer job yet, no surprise there. Maybe I am not trying hard enough? ah well. Nothing really happened in August, apart from going places with Danushi, Matt and Marko.

September
Ok, so the summer job goal kinda failed for the 3rd time. I really can't be bothered looking for a Christmas job so I guess I will begin searching again somewhere in 2008. Danushi's birthday was on the 28th, but she decided to spend it with her family, I wanted to take her out because she took me out for my birthday, but oh well I bought her £60 watch as a birthday present. I started to talk to Marianna a lot more which was great, because as I mentioned before shes hot. I also started talking to Lisa, Amy, Ellie, Andreas, Robbie and Matt alot more too.

September was also the month I got screwed over by my best friend Marko. I've saved that guy's life so many times, paid his rent once, made him stay in my house for a month and he decides to steal £140 from me plus £40 from my mum.

What a best friend eh.

October
So, 2nd year of uni, I was eager to start uni again because summer time was so boring (apart from heading to America and meeting Danushi God knows how many times). When I got my project briefing from Finola and Nima (my lecturers at uni, very original names I agree) , I was very motivated to get the work done. The projects included real clients, Santander and a green tea company from Japan. I was very confident and started working on them the first week.

By the end of the month I had nothing, no work at all for them, WTF you say? well, the plan was to get majority of the santander project done and then move onto the green tea project and the information design project (yes...there was a 3rd project), but that didn't quite happen. To understand why I was so motivated to go but had nothing to show for it by the end of the month ill brief you on the projects:

Santander Project:
I have to think of a name for a multi-use student card that is used for banking, discounts, travelling, the list goes on. Then I had to think of corporate colours, corporate typeface, how the brand portrays itself, how it would work in media, how to present it to the Spanish representatives that are coming all the way from Spain to listen to what I have to say and also I am getting marked on grades for this.

Green Tea Project:
Pretty much the same thing as above, but Japanese and I am not getting graded on it.

Information Design Project:
An anonymous mobile company would like me to research into mobile phone use and display it in a presentation, which is being graded.

Only 3 projects for the whole term, easy right? especially when last year I was getting 6 to 7 projects at one time. By the end of October I realised these projects were not Mickey Mouse projects (Thats London slang for not simple projects) and I would have to work my ass off. Nothing else really happened this month.

November
I felt like shit this month. I was struggling at uni. I was losing the passion in what I love doing. Graphic Design started to feel like work. It didn't feel like something I like to do because I loved it. My Information Design project was the 1st of 3 of my projects to be handed in and I completely screwed up on it. The presentation was ridiculous. I presented it on a glossy paper no bigger than an A3 sheet of paper and no one could barely see the information on it because it was so shiny. There were many flaws with the design and my sketchbook was something I did just 30 mins before the presentation, however, I got a B for it. I was absolutely shocked when I saw my grade, the first words I said to myself are "Are you fucking kidding me!?" it was just pathetic. I am totally disappointed with that grade. Realistically I should of got a D+ or C-. I haven't discussed this with my tutor yet, I will in January next year.

Sticking to the subject, I didn't like how I was feeling. For the Santander project everything was going wrong. Every idea I came up with just sucked completely and to try and make me feel better about myself I would play on my xbox the whole day. Going out to places with Danushi really made me feel better. Eventually my ideas started to work, however these 2 projects are 10 weeks long, I haven't started the green tea one and 7 weeks into the Santander project I finally got a name for the bloody brand. I should have had a name for it on the very 1st week, but thanks to depression that didn't go to plan.

By the time it came to the final week of November I had to have completed the whole Santander project, that's when the ideas started flowing. I started to go on a roll, one great idea after another, if this little burst of thoughts didn't happen I reckon I would have failed the whole project. In the end I managed to do the project on-time. I knew I wouldn't stand a chance in the competition, oh I forgot to say, the Santander and Greea Tea projects were competitions, but as long as I got it completed I didn't care. I would have forgiven myself for producing shit, but I wouldn't have forgiven myself if I didn't produce anything at all.

Nothing else happened in November. I was too busy focusing on uni.

December
December was a very thoughtful for me. I decided that I was going to learn Spanish. One of my life-time achievements is to learn another language. I have chosen Spanish because I could use it in various countries, probably countries I won't ever visit, but I shouldn't rule out "never". I mean heck, I thought I would never visit Ireland and I did! I also chose Spanish because I don't like French and Spanish seems easy to learn, lame reason I know.

I met Marianna and her friend Naomi this month for the 1st time in a year! we went to Warren Street for a drink then we went to Oxford Street to shop. Damn that girl is hot.

December is also the month I made this Blog. At first I made it because I have a Google account and I didn't know Google owned Blogger.com so I can use the same account to make a Blog. Then I just noticed I could use it to slap down any thoughts and feelings I got towards uni, graphic design and life in general. I chose the slogan "Random Thoughts From a Random Person" because the posts are suppose to be just various thoughts from just a regular person, no one special.

Back onto the topic of uni, I had 1 week to do 10 weeks of work for the Green Tea project, brilliant. It was obviously shit, disappointing etc etc, but I did it and so the 1st term of my 2nd year of uni finished. It has been a disappointing term. I lost the passion at one stage and I got it back at the end of the term. I decided to work on personal projects to prepare myself for the next term, its my way of keeping the passion aswel as focusing more on my career path.

Christmas came of course, I got 2 graphic design books from Danushi, £50 from my mum and I bought myself TheOrangeBox (xbox game), a £13 steak, which was bloody amazing and I took that £50 I got from my mum and started a savings account. On Christmas day, I spent the whole day drawing and designing, infact, I designed my own logo, which can be seen at the top of this Blog.

Overall my year was full of highs and lows (like everybody I guess), however the last 4 months were the most important months. they have shown me what I need to do in 2008 and who I need to keep as friends. The best thing that has happened to me this year is meeting Danushi. She really has affected me in a way. When I was down her presence picked me up. When I wanted to talk to someone she was there. Other people have affected me this year too. Nikki (my oldest cousin) and her husband have taught me that whatever I do I should stay focus on my main goals in life. Marianna and Andreas have been great to talk to.

2008 is going to be highly interesting.

This is my religion

2007-12-24T11:42:00.000-08:00

I do not pray.
I say various words like "God" "Jesus" "Christ" "Lord" and "Hell" when shocked, frustrated or surprised.
I'd rather not chill out on Sunday.
I do not wear a religious symbol.
I do not go to church.
I do not read the Bible, Qur'an or any other religious text.
I eat what I want to eat.
I drink what I want to drink.
I wear what I want to wear.
I will marry who I want to marry.
I will have sex with who I want to have sex with.
I will decide the time I will have sex.
I believe in more than one God.
I believe those Gods were a design team meeting a 7 day deadline.
I believe those Gods would want us to live however we want to live.
I believe in Adam and Eve.
I do not believe in Hell.
I do not believe in Heaven.
I believe in a world after life, where we go to review the life we lived.
I believe in a world after life, where we do the things we enjoy doing.
I believe in a world after life, where we celebrate the life we lived.
I believe in Jesus.
I do not believe Jesus was the son of God.
I believe Jesus was blessed by the Gods.
I do not believe in the devil, Satan or "the beast".
I do not believe in angels.
I do not believe the Gods will destroy the earth.
I believe mankind will destroy the earth.
I believe the Gods took features from themselves to create mankind.
I do not celebrate easter.
I do not celebrate christmas.
I celebrate birthdays.
I celebrate the new year.
I believe in the western zodiac.
I believe in the chinese zodiac.
I believe other religions have positive views and should except one another's beliefs.

I know I am missing some; I will add some along the way.

Inspirations

2007-12-06T19:09:00.000-08:00

Woohoo my first ever blog. I have no idea how these things work, but, I will use this blog to write down random thoughts and feelings. To be honest I cant be bothered with long introductions at 3:11am in the morning; I cant sleep, its very windy outside and I have something to write.

Eventually ill customise my blog. I plan on doing it when I get back from uni.

So, as I said, I cant sleep. I was just laying down thinking; as a graphic designer, what inspires me?
I've been trying to answer this question since I was 14. I first thought it was other peoples work, but that would be influences right?

So what really inspires me?

I decided to think about the things I like. I like music, art, girls, computers, computer games, thinking...uhh anything else? then I figured I needed to go into detail.
In terms of music I like rap, hip hop, dance, all forms of reggae, classical, opera, some rock, rnb and I like old music, old as in 60s-80s, any genre really, except most rock.
Art? I like photography, illustrations, collages, bit of painting, typography, graphic design, pretty much anything creative honestly.
Girls? I like girls alot. All kinds of sizes and colours. I talk to girls all the time. Do I love a certain type of girl? yes, Do I love a specific girl? yes, she could be reading this right now for all I know, so I wont say her name....yet.
Computers! I've always liked computers. It's the gadgets I like, however, I don't think computers inspire me, maybe computer games though.

Thinking...this is what I love doing.

I love thinking about the things around me, the things people have said to me. I love thinking about and observing the way people make actions. I love observing and examining body language and how it can tell a lot about a person. I love thinking about what I did and if I did it this way, how would it differ from that way?

Does this all relate to Psychology? Would this mean I have a deep appreciation for Psychology?

I love thinking about random things, for example, if poverty didn't exist, would the world be better of?

I was standing up on the train the other day, 1st December I think it was. I was heading home after seeing Danushi (aka Dani), I was listening to Kanye West - The Graduate mix tape, Kanye rocks by the way, my favourite music artist, but anyway, I was listening to music in silent and noticed most people were doing the same thing. I decided to observe everyone's actions. They were either sitting down silent, reading a book or newspaper (the free London newspapers) or listening to music on phones or mp3 players (mostly an apple product). A packed carriage and all I can hear is the train. No one speaking to anyone, no one looking at anyone, everyone keeping to themselves.

I found it fascinating.

I found it so fascinating to watch these bunch people that I turned off my music and just observed. I didn't want to get off my stop, but I did and walked home. During my walk home all I could do is think about the people on the train.

I guess psychology can inspire me. I could put these thoughts down on paper, or even in this blog. I think about psychology more than anything else. I've pretty much study all the conversations I have on msn and in real life. I keep all the message logs of msn conversations.
Maybe its a sick hobby, I don't know, but I like it, I like thinking and observing.

So, what are my inspirations?
Well apart from the usual, music, art and girls. My biggest inspirations would have to be psychology and world issues.

Now its 4:00am and I have to wake up in 4 hours, yay.